dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
