Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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