If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
In other news, I just burned my penis
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
