): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
