he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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