Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
