the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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