Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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