If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
