i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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