I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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