Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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