I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
