i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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