we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
