There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I have fence marks all over my body
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
