haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
dude. I can hear the air.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
