If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
