I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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