I need help removing her.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
