the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
