Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
