and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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