wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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