I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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