i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
