I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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