As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
