I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
