Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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