You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
