Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
