Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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