I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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