Don't you send me to vm
So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
