My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
