Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
