I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Please, let me fuck your mom
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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