Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It's never too late to be topless.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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