Please, let me fuck your mom
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
