i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
