I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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