Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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