You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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