This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
