i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
