let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
