Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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