Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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