Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
