I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
